Nowadays , in a world and a society that increasingly demands more to be considered valuable, it is not uncommon to have low self-esteem. There are high expectations that we are expected to meet: having a beautiful home, a high income; of looking splendid, young and skinny; being good parents or getting great grades and getting lots of likes on instagram. This list is as infinite as the demands, that grows so much that we can never reach them.
Inmersed in this world, it is not an easy task to feel worthy. So it is crucial to know that you do not have to have all of those things or to look “ideal” to feel good and have self-confidence. No person is less worthy or more important than another.
If you cannot free yourself from these feelings and thoughts, it is important to consult a professional.
Working with a psychologist on low self-esteem issues could help you to transform those feelings and thoughts so you can feel more confident and secure. Therapy could help you not be afraid of feedback or end the need to seek approval. It could help you set limits and not be afraid of conflict; not to feel inferior and not be afraid of failure. And, above all, it helps to accept who you are and love who you are instead of punishing yourself.
What is Self-esteem?
Self esteem is the subjective evaluation of the own worth. It shows us how we view the way we are and the sense of our personal value. It encompasses beliefs about oneself (for example, “I am unloved”, “I am worthy”) as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame.
Confidence in one’s value, as a human being, is a precious psychological resource and generally a highly positive factor in life; it is correlated with achievement, good relationships, and satisfaction.
In the early years of a child’s life, parents have a significant influence on self-esteem. Unconditional love from parents helps a child develop a stable sense of being cared for and respected. These feelings translate into later effects on self-esteem.
Throughout childhood and throughout life being listened to, being spoken to respectfully, receiving appropriate attention and affection and having accomplishments recognized and mistakes or failures acknowledged and accepted are experiences that contribute to healthy self-esteem. Conversely, being harshly criticized, being physically, sexually or emotionally abused, being ignored, ridiculed or teased or being expected to be “perfect” all the time contribute to develop low self-esteem.
Social experiences are another important contributor to self-esteem. Teens make appraisals of themselves based on their relationships with close friends. To be accepted between peers brings about confidence and produces high self-esteem, whereas rejection from peers and loneliness brings about self-doubts and produces low self-esteem.
When people have low self-esteem they tend to constantly be critical of themselves. Many times this can lead people to become depressed, to tolerate abusive relationships. and situations or, to fall short of their potential.